June 22, 2017

Alter Ego or “Altar” Ego…What does the real “me” look like?

“Don’t rely too much on labels, for too often they are fables.” – Charles H. Spurgeon

Ps.139:13,14 “For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well.”

I am so very excited about this topic!!! This is something God has been working in me on and off over the last 10 years and recently again.

Craig Groeschel wrote a fabulous book called “Altar ego” (worth reading) in which he absolutely hit the nail on its head! I would like to start this blog by quoting him. (If you remember nothing else of this blog, thats okey!)

“Take your idea of your own identity. Lay it on the altar. And sacrifice it. Because until you’ve sacrificed your broken concept of your identity, you won’t become who you are meant to be.”

What exactly is an altar, you ask? Well here’s the definition thanks to Biblestudytools.com: “Structure on which offerings are made to a deity. The Hebrew word for altar is mizbeah, from a verbal root meaning “to slaughter.” Greek renders this word as thusiasterion, “a place of sacrifice.” In the developed temple ritual, the same word is used for both the altar of holocausts and the altar of incense. Thus, an altar is a place where sacrifice is offered, even if it is not an event involving slaughter.”

First of all… THERE IS ONLY ONE YOU! Nobody has ever or will ever be like you. We have been created to the image of an incomprehensible God(Gen.1:27), each one of us has been given a uniqueness of Himself that nobody ever had or will ever have. We can only live as our true unique self when we are in relationship with our Creator, allowing Holy Spirit to brood our uniqueness out of us like a hen on her eggs. The sad part is that if we do not walk in our true God-created-identity and uniqueness then there will be a part of God that the world will never get to know or see. We are like diamonds – each unique and beautiful in its own way. Many times when God speaks to me about people, He shows me diamonds or jewels! Do you now understand why the enemy is really out on a mission to steal from you, telling you that you should act, look, dress, speak, think, walk and talk like “them”?? What do “they” think about me. What do “they”say is acceptable to wear, think, be, etc? How do “they” say should I raise my child? … No, STOP, wait…who are “they” anyway?? Take God’s hand, keep your ear on Jesus heart, your eyes on Holy Spirit and be the best you you can be! In oneness with Jesus – live life to the full HIS WAY!

One sure thing I have learned in my personal journey with Jesus is never say never! Because then He will do just that! Especially if your “never” is attached to a fear! As Billye Brimm so beautifully puts it: “The reason that fear was so wrong for the children of Israel was that it showed forgetfulness of God. Whatever you are afraid of is bigger to you than GOD IN THAT INSTANCE.” And if this is the case, and if you are one of those Christians who sing so very wholeheartedly in church on Sunday mornings “I surrender all”, well then God will want to show you that He is BIGGER than your fears or preconceived ideas.

By saying “never say never” I do not just mean in the case of fear but also with pride, set ideas or mindsets, stubborness – those times you find yourself saying “I will never”, “this is not the way I do it”, “I was not raised like this”, “I will never visit this country”, “this is so not me” – those will limit your journey with God because He does not function within the borders of a box! They need to GO my friend!! This will become your testimony.

In 2015 a friend suggested I go to a conference called Mission Possible in the Netherlands, Europe. Back then I was still convinced that cities are not for me (even though I worked there a lot) so my answer or rather argument to the question was “Who wants to go to Europe? Not me! Rather send me to the Amazon or the Rockies or Africa.” (If you know me, you will know I am more of a nature gal). Well, sure enough, five months later I was in the plane on my way back from Europe,completely in tears that I had to return after such a wonderful “honeymoon” with Jesus! Most of my time there was spent in the small town Nijkerk as well as Amsterdam and Paris – two big cities. But I felt so spoiled. Every moment was a treat with Jesus. I came back feeling “homesick” on the plane and I realised: Where Jesus is, there I am at home and so very happy!” Today I am convinced that God can send me anywhere He wants to – because if He is there, then I would not want to be any other place!!

God has taken me through a recent uncomfortable, faith building situation. An “Abraham, take your son Isaac and sacrifice him because I am enough for you” situation. I was telling a friend of it a few days ago and my testimony of how faithfully God carried me through it (which I will not share now otherwise this blog will be loooong). I shared how God came from a complete different direction and challenged me, stretched me like a elastic band. While telling my friend about this I caught myself repeatedly saying “this is not the way I normally would do things”, “Im not like this”. Later that evening, God spoke to me while I was in the shower – yep, God speaks in weird places sometimes! He reminded me of the conversation I had earlier, and He asked me… “so how would you “do things”? If you are not “like this” then how are you?” Mmmm now there’s a thought! You think you are free of yourself till one day you are faced with a “sacrifice Isaac” situation and you realise to which degree you really are not!! Then you are back to the drawing board with God, once again laying down your ego/identity on the altar and saying “God, here I am. Mold me and form me the way You want to! You are the Potter and I am the clay.”

These moments of shaping and molding over the years, to me, are testimonies of being set free and keys to living life in abundance. With Jesus, this has become “our adventure” as my trust in God grows deeper daily and I get to conquer fears and preset ideas. These testimonies are part of my treasury of jewels.

Let go of who you think you are, fill yourself with Him!!! A while ago, during worship, the following words came to my heart which I immediately wrote down…

“Empty all of ‘me’ so I may be filled with all of You, God!” I saw a picture of Joshua kneeling in the tent of meeting where Moses met with God (Ex33:11) and then Moses would return to the camp, but his servant Joshua, did not depart from the tent. There is something about being emptied for God and soaking in His Presence – then going out and fighting winning battles with Him, looking through eyes of faith, reacting courageously where others would react out of fear, doubt and unbelief. No longer my will but His will, His ideas – this causes me to be so much more capable of moving in the supernatural and being used by God in which ever way He wants to. The new me. The real me. My “altar” ego saying: Christ in me, the hope of glory!

As Craig Groeschel so beautifully ends his book: “Now that you know who you are, you’ll know what to do. And whatever you do, do it all for the glory of the One who made you new.”

I love the “altar” ego of John the Baptist. When his disciples came to him to tell him that Jesus was now baptizing the people and that all were coming to Him in stead of to John, his reaction was so beautiful and such a testimony of a selfless life surrendered to Jesus, to be used by Him all to His glory. To John, Jesus was the meaning to his life. He answered, “He who has the bride is the Bridegroom; but the friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom’s voice. Therefore this joy of mine is fulfilled. He must increase, but I must decrease.”